one of the reasons I love her so much

It's nice that Ms. Darkerside doesn't get upset when I say things like this. She usually laughs, or pretends to be horrified for a moment before agreeing with me. There have only been a couple of times that she's been mildly offended when I've blurted out some random obscenity, and those times are few and far between. Like I said, it's why I love her as much and the way that I do.

 

Example: We'd gone out late for a snack and some dessert at a restaurant close to our house, one of maybe two places in the entire city that stays open past 10pm. We'd asked to be sat away from the table of about 12 twenty-somethings who'd arrived before we did, but apparently the table we got was the only one open. It just happened to be right next to them.

 

In between bouts of openly flirting with and teasing the waitress, we enjoyed our snack and ice cream, and strained to hear each other over the noise from the table next to us. The boys were all in blow-fish mode, one in particular was telling stories that I've read about on Snopes, claiming to know a friend of a friend that it happened to, and kept saying "...to make a long story short" after which I'd say (under my breath) "too late". This never failed to give my companion the giggles.

 

There were just a few girls at the table with them, one in particular Ms. Darkerside labeled "Miss Princessy". She was of some Asian extraction, with way too much makeup, just the right clothes and what was probably a $200 hairstyle. You could tell, just by looking at her that she was incredibly high maintenance, thought very highly of herself, and probably thought she was better than everyone in the room. There are some people that the attitude just comes oozing out of them. Sure, they might be good looking, even beautiful... but the internal ugliness covers them, colors everything about them. It's like a thin membrane of slime that surrounds and coats them completely. And if you can see it, you don't want anything to do with them.

 

Unless you're starting an abuse farm...

 

The group left right before we did, and as we were walking back to the house I casually let this fall out of my mouth:

 

"You know, some girls you date. Others, you leave on their knees with their hands cuffed around the base of the toilet and their skirt pushed up around their waist. Just in case you need to use them."

 

That one got me the horrified look. But only for a moment.